December Update: After first quarter of school at WSU!

Hey again (not that anyone reads this!).

Sooo how did my first quarter go? Ok. Grades? Great!! I was very happy (and pleasantly surprised) to have a 3.5 - unheard of a few years ago. Thanks to Chris for pushing me.

Made a new friend from online but unfortunately, NONE at school. Made a half-assed "friend" but no REAL friends. Fucking disappointing to be honest. But yeah said friend from online isn't even a "good" friend either. More of like, someone to go out with on occasion. I am thinking of meeting diff ppl bc she is single and I'm not.. our priorities are a little different and such. But yeah, Idk.

I got to see Jabez, which was awesome! my old bff from OWU. We went out and had a delish Chinese buffet, and he brough alone Justin of course.

Considering joining a sorority at some point. Would be a way to make friends (if it's not too expensive, of course!) and such.. but would but down on quality bf time on weekends!!

We decorated the tree at home and wow.. I basically dug the thing out myself (yuk - only 1 harmless spider though! Guess they're dead at this time of year) which was ok but I feel like I didn't get much thanks :( I also helped decorate with Malaya (little niece) and mom and such. I did most of the lights hehe..making up for all those years NOT at home (bc of semesters lol)!

The other day we all watched a movie filled with hilarious memories for mom and me.. "The Poky Little Puppy's First Christmas" It's so hokey but that's what we love...

YAY! No Math.... ever again.

So I've been getting together my schedule for the fall. Finally, ha. Here it is - for the most part, it will not change [CLICK for larger image]:

I also found out that I will not have to take the dreaded math again. YAY! No math again...ever. I thought I still had to take another math but apparently (coughmyDincough) Stats at OWU counted as the "MTH 145" at Wright State. ......W00T!

I look forward to the English and history that is left. My faves.

I hope I make friends.. I mean, I did at Miami and that was only a semester - AND having no major! I had a "whopping" 4 classes and I still managed to make 2 decent friends. However, it was a party school (and a helluva lotta fun at that) and I don't know if I'll make any "fun" friends here. Not that it's a priority, but it would definitely be fun. Older friends, too, more my age - like grad students. If only!

Le bf is gonna miss me. A lot. I keep reassuring him he will see me, but he doesn't seem to believe me... ;-) Awww.

I PRAYY I do better at studying here. Maybe I will find the profs more accessible and friendlier. Maybe the classes won't be quite as difficult as the private school I was at. Maybe I will finally realize that this is my LAST chance - and I can't blow it. Lol. Also... hoping I can do something with my voice. I miss singing :-/ It seemed to be encouraged...

Lata.

Les pensées au sujet d'une nouvelle université

Soo the bf's off to play tennis again, and I'm stuck here alone with my thoughts. I'll write :)

Author's Note-- 
Order of schools in which I have attended:

• OWU
• Miami
• WSU

I'm not sure what to expect.

I know the last time I went [transferred] to a new school, it was a bit of a flop. Granted, I was not the music major I expected to be, so this really severed my options as far as making new friends went. I made a few through my German roommate, but that was all. I was lucky to even have those friends. But now... now, I'll be with my "own kind," and it should definitely be more comfortable. There will probably even be grad students, so being among those whose age I am close to will be nice. I also am hoooping I get the on-campus apartment I signed up for. (I finished the paperwork online a bit late, so I'm not sure. My own damn fault if this is the case.) I mean, this way, I'll have lots more freedom, and be with slightly older kids (I think it's sophomore and up, or be 21+). I don't think they stick transfers with freshmen (at Miami, they stuck me with the German roommate, which ended up not being so bad after all), but you never know. I just feel like there's a huge difference between a kid just outta high school, and a soon-to-be 23 y.o. comme moi. Lol. *shrug*

Another note: I'm really excited to see my friends from OWU again at the music conference in January. (Btw, the conference will be in Columbus, which OWU is near. Cool.) I'll see  my old best friend; a musical friend from another college; I'll probably see the people who live in the Columbus area (those that graduated, etc.); and maybe a few others I won't mention, one of whom I really am not sure of. (We had a bit of history but now there's an ironic twist I won't get into.) But yeah.. I wonder how I'll feel, and how my friends will feel. I have a sinking feeling that maybe that best friend will not have missed me much at all, and we won't hang out as much. However, I still feel like whatever friends I will have made at WSU don't quite compare to the friend I had for 2 years, and I think we'll hang... After all, we were.. besties.

I'm sure I'll see profs too, which will be cool. Get to be all updated and such.

I hope my study habits improve. Lord knows they suck.. royally. I'm not sure why (or if I have ADD or something - the excuse for everything haha), but I know that I don't want those occasional D's again. Maybe since it's a public school, the classes will be a bit easier. *gulp* I'm pretty sure music history will be! Man, the class at OWU I was a bitch, let me tell you. It was like we were grad students with way-too-high expectations. It was hell for me, and I felt like everyone else "got it" but me :( Granted, I have had medical/brain issues, so that hinders me (and often makes me feel a bit inadequate), but I still felt quite terrible.. next to those pretty/successful girls who had it all - looks, grades, fiancés, outgoing personalities, etc. Ugh.

Which reminds me.. I need to stop comparing myself so much. GaaarrrrR!! Another thing I that drove me nuts about those girls was the fact that they were vocal majors - something I've always longed for. Why did I chose instrumental education over vocal performance, then? Well, a few reasons. One is security. Being a teacher has benefits. Two is the scheduling - great for if you want kids and/or nice vacation time. Three, I am not a fan of being competitive. Being a performance major means you probably will not have a steady job singing because of the competition that is just plain better than you. This means you must work your ass off to even get considered. I'm not sure if I'd be up for that. However, if teaching doesn't work out (plus, with the way the shitty economy is going, I don't see a tremendous future in it anyway), I want to turn to opera singing. I have always loved opera and the way they sing is JUST how I sing: very back-of-the-throaty. Hell, even a vocal prof at OWU asked me (when I had a vocal placement thingamajigger) if I'd ever considered being a vocal major. That stuck with me to this day. (Also, the one prof at WSU def seemed to take my singing into consideration - something rare that I will always remember. Maybe I can take LESSONS! YaY haha.) So yeah. And if this doesn't work out, well.. I may have to turn to other things to get the money I want.. hehe. So? I refuse to live paycheck to paycheck like the scum of America.

*sigh* I'm quite nervous, being an almost-23 y.o. going to a new school. They may think it strange. I may not fit in. I don't know. I want to make cool friends that like to have fun, but at the same time I guess it doesn't matter/is not likely, and you make the friends that are the most comfortable for you that you have the most in common with. Oy.

I guess I've been through a lot. To me, it's just life.

I can't wait to see what happens.

Review: "The Falsies" Mascara

Short review on "The Falsies" Mascara::

This mascara definitely does NOT live up to its name. For me, it gives no effect of false lashes because it does not provide volume. It lengthens, if anything, but it definitely is not what advertisements show. It makes my lashes sparse and few.

I'm sticking with the "Colossal" Volum' Express.

Also, I haven't tried the "One by One," and because of the Falsies, I'm afraid to haha. I fear the brush and results will be similar..yuck.

July Update

Hey all.

So I just signed up for Google+. Apparently it connects like, everything you own LOL.

Going to sign up for Wright State classes on Monday. At least, that's the plan! I hope it goes well there. Looking forward to making new, closer friends. And of course, getting back on track with the one thing I know I understand - MUSIC. Lol. Well, English too. And poetry. But yeah ;-) Wewt.

Anyone a fan of Starcraft? My bf is obsessed with it, lol. Oy.

June Update

Hey again. Wow, I'm never on here haha.

Now working at a daycare. Have a boyfriend. He has a blog too but like me, we never use 'em.

Still planning on starting school again in the fall. Getting stuff finalized for that.

Lata!

Je vais être heureuse

I just want to be happy...

:-/

so much fun**

Had a TON of fun last night.
Might have drank a little too much but it's all good.
Good company, chat, and.. well, other. Ha.
Pretty happy girl right now.. even if it's not quite what I want at this point in time...

February Update

Don't have a whole lot to say.. but wanted to update.

New job.. only 15 hrs. a week right now ugh but better than nothing. Skyline, lol.

Going to the comedy club again Thursday night. Wonder if I'll get... well, you know :-/

Kinda sad about _______. Boys suck.

Ha, I've been watching Jersey Shore from season 1. My favorites are Snooki & Vinny. I relate to them in some ways (he went to college; you just wanna find love; etc.) The other people.. not so much, haha.

Later,
~C

Gonna push it to the limit, give it more...

Watch me as I dance under the spotlight-
Listen to the people screaming out more and more,
'Coz I create the feeling that keep 'em coming back,
Yeah, I create the feeling that keep 'em coming back,
So captivating when I get it on the floor.

Know y'all been patiently waiting, I know you need me, I can feel it,
I'm a beast, I'm an animal, I'm that monster in the mirror,
The headliner, finisher, I'm the closer, winner.
Best when under pressure one second's left I show up.

If you really want more, scream it out louder,
If you're on the floor, bring out the fire,
And light it up, take it up higher,
Gonna push it to the limit, give it more.

Get up both your hands, I'm in the zone, tight!
Put 'em in the air, if you want more (and) more,
Cos I can't wait to feel it.
I go hard, can't stop,
But if I stop then just know that imma bring it back,
Never quittin' on believin' that.

Know y'all been patiently waiting, I know you need me, I can feel it,

I'm a beast, I'm an animal, I'm that monster in the mirror,
The headliner, finisher, I'm the closer, winner.
Best when under pressure one second's left I show up.

If you really want more, scream it out louder,
If you're on the floor, bring out the fire,
And light it up, take it up higher,
Gonna push it to the limit, give it more.

If you really want more, scream it out louder,
If you're on the floor, bring out the fire,
And light it up, take it up higher,
Gonna push it to the limit, give it more.

Gonna push it to the limit, give it more.

New pics :)

  

Ugh

..hopes - dashed.

Why do I ever bother hoping?!

"Point of no return, one second to go.."

"The Walk" ~ Imogen Heap

Inside out, upside-down twisting beside myself,
Stop that now, cos you and I were never meant to be
I think you better leave; it's not safe in here,
I feel a weakness coming on.

Alright then (Alright then) I could keep your number for a rainy day,
That's where this ends, no mistakes no misbehaving,
Oh, I was doing so well, can we just be friends,
I feel a weakness coming on.

It's not meant to be like this, not what I planned at all,
I don't want to feel like this, Yeah,
No it's not meant to be like this, not what I planned at all,
I don't want to feel like this, so that makes it all your fault.

Inside out, upside-down twisting beside myself,
Stop that now; you're as close as it gets without touching me,
Oh no, don't make it harder than it already is,
Mmm, I feel a weakness coming on.

It's not meant to be like this, not what I planned at all,
I don't want to feel like this, Yeah,
No it's not meant to be like this, not what I planned at all,
I don't want to feel like this, so that makes it all your fault.

Big trouble losing control,
Primary resistance at a critical low,
On the double gotta get a hold,
Point of no return one second to go,

No response on any level, red alert this vessels under siege,
Total overload, systems down, they've got control,
There's no way out, we are surrounded,
Give in, give in and relish every minute of it

Freeze, awake here forever, I feel a weakness coming on.

It's not meant to be like this, not what I planned at all,
I don't want to feel like this, Yeah,
No it's not meant to be like this, it's just what I don't need,
Why make me feel like this, it's definitely all your fault.

Feel like this la la la la la la la la
It's all your fault (Feel like this) la la la la la la la la
It's all your fault (Feel like this) la la la la la la la la
It's all your fault (Feel like this) la la la la la la la la
It's all your fault

Mmm.. wow. Wish come true - or part of it!

I could hardly believe it when it happened, yet I wasn't surprised at all! It was so surreal, and exhilarating, and exciting, and - amazing!! No, it most definitely isn't what you would think. But this. Wow. This was something I, for many months, never thought would happen. and it hasn't even really "happened" yet! Just a part of it! Haha.. Wow. Then it slowly, slowly but surely, crept up on me. Creeping wonderfully into our existence.. slowly but surely we let biology take over and we gave in. So surreal and amazing!...

It's like, wow. Il n'est pas juste ça, mais un homme. Sérieusement.. il est un homme, comme tout les autres. Et pour le première fois, je le vois. For the first time, I see it. And it is wonderful. Who knows what will happen, but I so look forward to it, regardless. I'm so bad!

Glad no one reads this -_- Lol.

Here are some lovely lyrics (and songs). Mmm...

I have (I have) you breathing down my neck (breathing down my neck)
I don't (don't know) what you could possibly expect under this condition so
I'll wait (I'll wait) for the ambulance to come (ambulance to come)
Pick us up off the floor
What did you possibly expect under this condition so

Slow down.. this night's a perfect shade of
Dark blue (dark blue)
Have you ever been alone in a crowded room when I'm here with you
I said the world could be burning down
Dark blue (dark blue)
Have you ever been alone in a crowded room well I'm here with you
I said the world could be burning 'til there's nothing but dark blue..
Just dark blue

This flood (this flood) is slowly rising up swallowing the ground
Beneath my feet, Tell me how anybody thinks under this condition so
I'll swim (I'll swim) as the water rises up, the sun is sinking down
And now all I can see are the planets in a row
Suggesting it's best that I slow down

This night's a perfect shade of
Dark blue (dark blue)
Have you ever been alone in a crowded room when I'm here with you
I said the world could be burning (burning) down
Dark blue (dark blue)
Have you ever been alone in a crowded room well I'm here with you
I said the world could be burning dark blue

We were boxing
We were boxing the stars
We were boxing (we were boxing)
You were swinging for Mars
And then the water reached the West Coast
And took the power lines (the power lines)
And it was me and you (this could last forever)
And the whole town under water
There was nothing we could do
It was dark blue

Dark blue (dark blue)
Have you ever been alone in a crowded room well I'm here with you
I said the world could be burning (burning) down
Dark blue
Have you ever been alone in a crowded room well I'm here with you
I said the room could be burning now there's nothing but dark blue

If you've ever been alone in the dark blue
If you've ever been alone you'll know (you'll know) 

----------------

Maybe we, why don't we
Sit right here for half an hour
We'll speak of what a waste I am
And how we missed your beat again.

I swear we need to find some comfort in this run down place
To bridge the gap of this conscious state that we live in
And I'm short on time

How come you try
that brings us home
to fit the shape of
and I pray for
What they tell you
You to move on, move on
but mostly what they show you
At this rate we can't keep up
I'm taking back all the things I've said
I'm taking back all the things I've said
But I sure can't just sit still
Keep me filled in and i swear I'll come


We walk alone
We walk alone
We walk alone
We walk alone
We walk alone
We walk alone
Back home
Alone, Back home

You're almost gone and I'm okay
I still see your shadow
To give you time to be afraid
But never your face again
I remember your presence

I hope to God you come down
I hope to God you feel this now
I hope to God you come down
I hope to...God

I know there must be some way out of here
And all of them will be waiting there.

Never again, never again, will I...

Once again, I was tricked.

UnderOath - A Moment Suspended in Time

"Held captive, I’m a prisoner
In the back room where the water leaks and I’m oh, so cold
Command me on what to do, but we both know that neither you or I
Are in control

There’s nothing left for me here
I’m grabbing on to what’s left of this hole
It’s all too real, this can’t be
Happening

Never again, ever again, will I say I'm okay
I'm scared of the fate that will
Become mine, become mine

No time to talk, No time to talk, you know the drill
Under my desk this can't be it
I’m only dreaming, I’ve got to be dreaming
But I can’t get up. No time to talk, not this time, this is my place
This is where I arrange

Under my desk this can’t be it
I’m only dreaming, I’ve got to be dreaming
But I can’t get up
No time to talk, not this time, this is my place
This is where I arrange

It’s so funny how we see things so clear
When we have no time
Left to live

So lay back down and take it in
I won’t say a word.
So lay back down and take it in
I won’t say anything.

I can’t believe how it feels
To stand here in this room
And feel like it’s going to blow
I think we’re all going to blow

Under my desk this can’t be it
I’m only dreaming, I’ve got to be dreaming
But I can’t get up
No time to talk, not this time, this is my place
This is what I await
I've got to be dreaming
He's got to be dreaming
We've got to be dreaming
We've got to be dreaming
We've got to be
We've got to be dreaming
We've got to be dreaming
we've got to be dreaming
Please don't wake me up
This is the end
This is the end
This is the end"